Wiping Butts and Baking Cookies!
On Fridays, our nanny leaves at 12, and with it being Spring Break, that means I am left to my own device with all FOUR kiddens. Keep in mind that yes, while I did participate in making them, growing them, and birthing them, I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into… or so I thought! I anxiously watch the clock as the minutes click by while I am downstairs eating my lunch. I have the luxury of working from home, so I can come and ‘hang out with them sporadically during the day.
11:51
11:52
I grab Rani as she is getting a little squawky and nurse her. I am scrolling mindlessly through my phone while eating my egg sandwich while she drifts off to sleep. Thank goodness, now I only have three children to watch for a couple of hours. Our nanny came to check in on us and saw she was sleeping and asked if she wanted to put her down for me. Um, yes, because she wouldn’t go down for me, and who am I kidding… I would never put her down in her cribby anyways! So away she went!
11:58
Okay! Two more minutes of bliss.
11:59
12:00
Oh, F&*#! Now, what am I going to do? With Rani Roo safely tucked in her crib, swaddled and all, I ask the kids, neh, tell the kids we are going to make mommy’s favorite chocolate chip peanut butter cookies this afternoon…. AFTER THEY MAKE THEIR OWN LUNCH! Much to their chagrin, they obliged.
I started getting everything ready, and who decided to wake up? Rani Roosey 20 minutes after Rachel left! Usually, I would say, “Rachel, I can hear Rani.” And she would come and get her, but crap, it was my turn! I’m the one that’s supposed to get Rani Roosey! Damn. I go up to the bedroom and find Asha (second oldest) already perched up on the side of her crib talking to her in her sweet little 6-year old voice.
“Ashey! I wanted her to sleep for a little while longer. What are you doing in here?” I roll my eyes and sweep her out of the crib and into her bumpo on the counter, where I continue to make cookies.
Meanwhile, I make a delicious cup of coffee from Beastie, our $900 coffee machine, and start measuring out the flour, baking soda, and baking powder. Then, while I grab something out of the cupboard, the can of olive oil lands directly into the four heaping cups of flour I diligently measured out! Are you kidding me? The only thing I could do was laugh and take a picture of the direct aim with white dusting sprinkled all over the place. The kids come running, and Matthew pokes his head out of the office and asks, “Now, how in the HELL did you pull that one off?” Magic, I tell him, pure magic!
Then I had to melt the butter, so I went in to grab two sticks, and as I was peeking into the container, the sticks of butter were missing, and the only thing left was the freaking box! Seriously people? I go downstairs, grab another one, and start the process again. Rani Roo is playing on the counter still as I am about 30 minutes in and starts crying… again! “I give up!” I grab her and take her into the living room to nurse her while Matthew finishes up the cookies… My freaking hero. He measures everything using the scale…. You read that correctly, the freaking scale with my other OCD child, Vidya, happily alongside him.
Twenty minutes later and a good nap from Rani Roo, our kitchen is wafting with the smells of peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. I go in and take over the baking process. Tag team, you’re it, Matthew says to me!
3:00
Okay! We can make this work. I can do this. I am cutting these freaking 3 ounce balls in half while the timer goes off. I quickly put another batch in while I put the other on the cooling rack after stuffing myself with 2 ounces of cookie dough. Honestly, my tummy still hurts. Then, I hear Naveen from the living room… “Ah, Dadddddddd?”
Daddy’s busy, sweetie; what’s up?”
“Um, Rani Roo pooped all over the place!”
Ah, shoot. My hands are full of cookie dough. “Okay, I’ll be right there!”
Timer set with my knuckles for 15 minutes… okay, go!
I grab her, and she is covered in poo.
Sidebar: I still struggle to put on a diaper, let alone change a poop that is up to her arm pities and try to come out without poop all over me at the same time!
Okay, I’m a Mom! I can do this, I tell myself. She is wiggling and wobbling all over the place and finally takes notice of her bum with her fingers and starts scratching it! Are YOU FREAKING kidding me, people? I notice something on the back of my hand… Is that cookie dough or poop? Honestly, I’m too afraid to smell it so I just grab a wipe just in case and wipe it off! Again, there is nothing I can do but(t) laugh and say, yes, this is Motherhood…… Wiping butts and making cookies all at the same time! Would I do anything differently? Probably use fewer chocolate chips…. But No, other than that, I couldn’t. I know these days are fleeting, and I will cherish them, but man, are they hard! When you want to get one thing done, does it takes all afternoon? But hey, I guess we were looking for something to fill up our time anyways, huh? That’s right… I am a Mama; hear me roar! Wipin’ butts and taking names….. And eating cookies!
3:57
DING
The timer goes off. Time to put in the last batch!